There are times as a parent when you stop and think: this can’t be real life. Most of those times are because of something wonderful: your baby taking their first steps, or going on your first family vacation. Everything is perfect, and you just can’t believe how lucky you are.

Rose smiling by a shrub
sweet as (pumpkin) pie

This is not a story about one of those times.

Rose by a shrub sticking out her tongue
note the tongue

Today was one of those other times: when things are going so horrifically that you don’t know if you should laugh, cry, or drown in a glass of wine. Like when your kid picks up a dead squirrel and brings it in to play (for real, happened to a friend), or your baby eats an entire sticker while driving home from the doctor’s office (Rose is one special lady, let me tell ya).

Let me pause real quick and give you some background information: yesterday Rosie fell and hit her nose on the side of the table. It bled a little, but the whole ordeal was over quickly and it did not stop her from continuing to use every chair in sight as a jungle gym.

Okay. Back to today.

Rosie took a long afternoon nap, for which I was very grateful. Then God saw an opportunity for a fun little twist ending (it’s really affirming when your relationship with God is so strong, He starts to prank you…insert eye roll). I opened Rosie’s door after I heard her fussing and I was welcomed by the nice, fresh stench of a full diaper. Not so bad. Happens everyday. And then I picked her up and saw her face. There were bits of old blood streaked on her cheeks, she must’ve scraped at her healing nose. And then I saw her hands. Her hands were dirty. She did NOT go to bed with dirty hands. And then I saw her legs. Streaked brown. Her bed sheets. Streaked brown. Her poop-filled diaper was leaking onto my hand. My inner thoughts were “helllll to the nope, put her down and back away like it never happened”. Spoiler alert: I stayed and we both survived the 20 minute clean-up. And I’m going to be reallll honest here: I have no idea if I spent the next 20 minutes scrubbing poop or old blood off of my daughter’s hands and fingernails. And I don’t want to know. Remember the poop or chocolate scene from Baby Mama? I was living it, but instead of chocolate it was blood and more poop. The entire time, all I could think was this can’t be real life. Be a parent, they said. It’ll be fun, they said… You know what they didn’t say? Toddlers can still have blow outs. Yeah, no one wants you to know that part.

But just like every other day here in toddler town, the bad moments are short-lived and forgotten during all the fun. All the poop in the world couldn’t keep me from loving that little girl. We spent the rest of the afternoon snacking, watering our new plants, and even made time for a trip to the library. We ended our day with an extra long bath time and books.

a book
did I say toddler town? I meant Halloween town

Life can be messy around here, but it’s a beautiful mess and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So here’s to hoping today is the shittiest part of my week. Goodnight, friends. I’ve got a date with a pile of laundry and a DVD of Hocus Pocus that isn’t going to watch itself.